Over the past few days, and after doing a lot of reflecting on the subject commonly called “multiple personality,” I have realized that any reader who happens to have, as I do, the same condition, might have felt attacked or hurt by the opening paragraph of the article I posted yesterday–“Me, A Multiple? I Don’t Believe It!”.  In that paragraph I state my feelings about being “multiple,” and my feelings are not positive! 

However, if one reads the entire article, it’s possible to trace my process of acceptance.  By the end of the article, I have finally come to understand and accept that multiplicity of personality to one degree or another can be a natural and normal result of long-term abuse in childhood and/or in adulthood.  I also state that without acceptance of the term or diagnosis, I could not make effective progress in my therapy because success in my therapy hinges partly on my bringing those ego states (personalities) that resulted from long-term trauma into better communication with each other.  In fact, the work I have done so far with ego states has already paid off in improving the quality of my everyday life, as I have mentioned in previous posts.

When I analyze my reluctance to accept that I am a “multiple,” I conclude that merely considering that  I might be a “multiple” scared the hell out of me!  Why?  Because all my life I’ve felt like a freak, so why would I want to accept a title that would add to my sense of freakiness?  Why would anyone want to accept such a title?  Nobody would!  And yet some of us have been placed by our abusers in a position where we have been saddled by the condition that underlies the term.  We can’t help that.  What we can do, however, is use the concept of multiplicity to help ourselves heal. 

So, to anyone reading my previous post who may be feeling hurt or insulted by my negative attitude toward being told I was a “multiple,” I apologize if my feelings on the topic have caused you grief or pain.  That was not my intent, please be assured.  However, I hope you read my entire article and understand now that I am accepting this title and for the past few years have been using the concept of isolated ego states as an instrument of my healing.  I sincerely wish that you, too, are experiencing healing and hope as you go through therapy.  If you, as I am, are a “multiple,” be assured that you can use your multiplicity as a tool for repairing the damages of abuse.  Peace.  Namaste.  Love . . .        Jean

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